Where did the little girl go?

10 Sep

Really. It’s a mystery to me. One minute she is in my arms, holding me tight and telling me I am her bestest partner, and the next minute she is screaming she hates me and can’t wait to run away. I am, of course, talking of my 11 1/2 daughter. Not 16 year old, by the way. 11 1/2!!! It seems like just 6 months ago she was even-keel. Oh wait. It WAS!  She hit puberty, ladies and gentlemen. She hit it hard. Body changing, freaking out, the whole shebang. 

“Mom, … Is going on with … Part of my body. What is wrong with me???”  I have now heard this exactly 23 times now, and i dread talking to her about it each time. Not because there is anything wrong, but because I get to go back to that time in my pre-teen life and look at how terrified and insecure I was.  It’s like doing it all over again!  And the truth is, of course, I don’t have all the answers packaged perfectly in a hallmark After School Special. Or even a hallmark card.  I am messing up, people. There are books, DVDs, and websites that cover this, but ya know what? the questions, comments, and arguments don’t happen at convenient times. They happen in the car, or late at night, or as she is walking out the door to school or a friends house!  

I woke up tonight, sweating, that she would turn out….. Insert fears here…

i just don’t want to screw her up, people. She is fantastic, and I honestly fear screwing her up with my talks going wrong. I mean, she is just testing the waters, spreading her wings, and…. You get the idea.  I want her to look outside the box… Sometime. Just not now.  I want her to question for herself… Later. Not yet.  You see the dilemma, folks.

Apparently, I am having a bit of a hard time letting go of the apron strings. But how to loosen them up without letting them go completely? I am at a loss for that one.  I love this girl. I know she loves me. But that is the crux.  How to loosen without cutting the strings?  I am at a loss. I know she will survive this age. We all did. But if there is anything I, as a 40 year old woman, can do to survive her, well that is what I am looking for. 


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Posted by on September 10, 2013 in Life


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