Alright….. Lets go here. Lets just get this out in the open

10 Sep

Alright….. Lets go here. Lets just get this out in the open.

Dishwasher machines. They are supposed to make my life easier, right?  It’s why i have one. It’s why we all have one.  Otherwise, we would stick with the whole Rinse-Your-Dishes-Down-At-The-Creek fad that was so popular a while back. Why, then, did i spend the last hour doing the jigsaw puzzle that was the dishwasher dance??????

Well, lets take the rule of rinse and stack. Theoretically, it’s a good idea, just for sanitary reasons. No critters need to eat leftovers. No smells from days gone by need to waft into my living room in the middle of my piano practice at 10:30 pm. It’s a good thing, rinsing and stacking, but does it happen near enough? NO! And why is that? Because, of course, it’s redundant! We all know the dishes are going to need to be washed.  And should be washed.   The reality is that no one wants to put the clean ones away, so the clean ones fresh from the dishwasher get used, and the dirty ones stay in the sink until a grown up harumphs enough to bring a minion about to right the situation, or actually does it themselves.

Now, if there happens to be any kind of crisis, bout of laziness, or bit of spring time weather, those dishes will multiply and replenish the sink. Quickly. Thus the dilemma this morning.  And this is how it went:

1. Open the dishwasher door and see 7 clean dishes left. Put them away.

2. Start to fit the pans into the dishwasher bottom rack, seeing that I don’t want to hand wash them. After all, that is what DISHWASHERS are for, right?

3. Fill the top rack with glasses, those big utensils that never fit anywhere else, and assorted measuring cups that the boys have used for cereal bowls, launching pads, and torture devices on the pets and/or sister.

4. Turn the spinn-ee thing-ee under the top rack to make sure the water will distribute correctly, only to find out that it is stopping at the large pan that i have shoved in on the bottom rack.

5. Pull out bottom rack, scratch my head for a sec, and move things around. “This should do it”, i say at least 7 times before i actually get it right, wasting roughly 26.8 minutes.

6. Slowly straighten my back only to find that it has become stiff. As stiff as if i had stood at a sink, washing dishes for, oh say, 30 minutes.

7. Notice that i have started the dishwasher without soap in it.

8. Stop the dishwasher, put in the soap and notice that, once again, the water is not disbursing because that dang pan has become dislodged when i shut the door!

9. Repeat step 5 for another 12 minutes, including unloading the entire bottom rack and reloading because now, it’s PERSONAL.

10. Slam the door, start the dishwasher, and look for a stiff drink.

It’s a good thing i don’t drink.

I do not, for the record, think that dishwashers are saving anyone time. The wash cycle is 80 minutes, do you realize that? Sure, it will sanitize my whisk, and get the grunge off my one thing-ee that i use to scoop ice cream and cookie dough, but really, i’m ready to take my stuff to the creek. Well, at least have my minions do it for me.

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Posted by on September 10, 2011 in Uncategorized


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