…. And I will just go get your dad.
Remarkably, it isn’t a concussion that is wrong with son #3. It is a quick case of the dramatic, which the poor boy is genetically prone to. Aaannd… a case of a 6’4″ MAN-CHILD bashing into my son’s chin and esophogus. It is 3rd son’s football practice, and the first one of the season that includes hitting. I am particularly excited that they have included pads in this practice. Whew. I won’t need that AFLAC documentation after all…
In point of fact, my son has shared and been very convincing about the fact that he also has a dislocated hip and a broken kneecap. His little sister is completely convinced that the ambulance should take him away, but his dad walks into the room and down-grades it to “hmmm, drilled you somethin’ fierce, did he?”. My son answers, “Totally! i took the helmut off another guy, though. should have seen his eye!” Grins all around, and cut! End of scene.
Thus, the parental roles are cemented. I am the one to play up to, and his dad is the one to shrug it off. Gotcha. Now I am secure in my duty with him.
MOM: brings him hot chocolate and cucumber salad when he is sad and hurt. ANNDD when dad isn’t around. She is allowed to rub his shoulders, and he is allowed to ask for her to push on that sore muscle on his calf. They have bonded and it is enough. This changes when dad is around, of course. At this time, mom becomes a BIT of an inconvenience… (In a Sean Connery voice, for some reason, the man-child might blurt,”what’re you doin around here, woman? Stop skulking about and get me some wine!”…SCRATCH THE MAN PARTS AND GRUNT…. type of thing, i think…) Situation solved.
DAD: mostly grunts and says one word sentances to the man-child until he is hurt. then, he spouts a gem of a sentance that both sums up and dumbs down the situation, all in one shot. combined with a hard smack on the back, and a few pokes at a joint or muscle, usually in the most painful spot, the situation has been scoped out and identified to both male’s satisfaction. they both go off to watch a show that includes more grunting, scratching, and violence. Situation solved.
As i am smiling and shaking my head, i realize that i can now pass some of the the owwee and boo boos off to others and still get the same result. Bonding. She punts…and….GOAL!!!!!!